Trust Your Dopeness

*Dopeness (adj.) - used to describe the niceness, or awesomeness of a person, place, or thing. 

fYou are amazing, beautiful, intelligent, and hella dope just the way you are! Let me tell you....you have no idea how long it took me to realize; better yet, believe that about myself! I get it, we all have our flaws. And some of those flaws are much harder to accept than others. Like the extra weight around our waist, those itty bitties we have up top, and fat knees! LMAO....yes, I thought I had fat knees and refused to wear anything to show them off for a loooong time! Why? Because someone told me I had fat knees when I was a senior in high school. In fact, a grown ass woman told me that! Scorned me for all of my 20's! It's funny to hear myself say that out loud. And all those years I missed showing off my gorgeous legs! SMH...

But seriously, why do we allow what other people think affect, how we feel about ourselves? Acceptance maybe? Whatever it may be, how dare we change our natural born dopeness for anyone?

Sometimes we want people to like and accept us so much that we are willing to change how we think, how we dress, what music we listen to, etc... But at the end of the day none of that matters because if you don't like who you are, the way you are you'll never be happy in that friendship, relationship, or any other "ship." Because ultimately, you aren't happy with yourself! Changing who you are for someone or something will only add layers to that mask you are wearing. Once you start adding layers, you will continue to lose yourself and forget who you are. And trying to reconnect with the person that once was is a challenge within itself. Trust your dopeness!

I was once in a relationship and found myself doing many of those things. Initially, I thought it was cute; he was buying me things I normally wouldn't wear, taking me to concerts of artists that was not my type of hype, and all other type of foolishness I can't believe I allowed myself to think and do. Why? Because for me, I was in love and that's what you're supposed to do, right? Sacrifice parts of yourself to make the other person feel comfortable? WRONG! I can admit, I was a fool for loving someone so much that I temporarily gave up parts of myself to be in a relationship that had too many red flags from the beginning. I did not trust my dopeness!

Needless to say, after over 2 years in that relationship, I snapped out of the delusion of thinking that was love. And for another year after that, I was on a quest to find LaDreka. That quest involved a lot of solitude, tears, prayer, and forgiveness. Forgiving myself for being careless with my heart and the way I doubted myself and my worth.  

But guess what, I found her y'all and she is dope as hell! At this point in my life, I am trusting my dopeness and I know one day, someone will appreciate all that I have to offer. If you are at a point where you are doubting your beauty, self-worth, intelligence, purpose, or anything that is connected to who you are, STOP and trust your dopeness!

​Sincerely LV

*(Urban dictionary, Cyrano On the Mic, 2007)